Untimely Crush

Someone once said to me, that some severed bonds are much better severed than being once again connected. At that time, I couldn't possibly understand what she could've meant, the pain of loving someone, pining after something that is way ahead from your hands. Well that was when I started talking, to him again. A very friendly relationship rekindled after a few years of not talking. We've had crushes on each other since the sixth grade, and our friendship was quite on and off until it came to the point of not talking at all. Of course it hurt for a while, after several thoughts of never being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. It doesn't hurt me as much anymore, but I came to the thought of being together.

The fluffy feeling of being loved by him, touched by him, getting a warm hug telling me with his sweet voice that everything was going to be all right even when he and I knew it wasn't going to be. But life isn't always so romantic, so sweet, it's sometimes bitter sweet, sweet to the tongue at first and pangs of bitterness next. He was often cold and distant, we forgot each other, mannerisms, behaviors, memories faded back into the very depths of my mind. But I'm not in a great position to feel this love as I'm with someone else, to want to reconnect in a physical and mental way, to heal both scars deeply inflicted. He's a child, and so am I. But I can't help thinking what if he loved me like I loved him, maybe I wouldn't be as hurt, but for now these feelings should be buried at the depths of my heart, I couldn't do this. To love him while I'm with his best friend. Though my heart may break from this pain, no one would get hurt by my forbidden love, the taboo in today's society.